Thank You

I want to thank you.

For loving me.
For being my reason for living.
Ever since we met, you’ve changed my life. 
I never realized how damn important you would be for me.
How unbelievably much you’d mean to me.
What you’d become.
And what I now hope you will always be.

Ever since you loved me, I changed.
I became stronger, more confident with all the changes my body was and is going through.
You made me feel beautiful again, while I was grieving over my so called lost beauty.
Whenever I’d be sad, down, broken.. You’d simply pick me up and put the pieces back together again.

You’re my guardian angel.
My best friend.
My big brother.
But most of all, my lover.
The person I love the most.
The one I love with all my heart.
The one I’d die for to keep.
The one, my one.

You’re the one I want to have children with someday.
You’re the one I want to marry.
You’re the one I want to grow old with.
You’re the one I see myself spending the rest of my life with. 

Your beauty is overwhelming.
As is all the love you give to me.
Every touch, every kiss, … it causes my heart to skip a beat.
I’m so hopelessly and helplessly in love with you.
I am so lost in you.

I know I tell you everyday that I love you, and how much I love you.
How I adore you.
But I never thanked you for loving me.
For changing my life.
Because you did.
You made me believe in things like love at first sight, true love and fairytales again.
Because we have it all.

You truly are everything I could’ve ever dreamed of.
You are everything and more.
All I could’ve asked for.

Thank you, for being the wonderful, loving, sensitive, funny, caring, … person that you are.
Thank you, for always protecting me from all the bad things in the world.
Thank you also, for still letting me experience some things on my own.
Thank you, for giving me the strength needed to make a decision to change my course in life.
Thank you, for trusting me, even when I know it’s not always that easy, since there are constantly people trying to get between us.

But most of all, thank you, for loving me.
Because your love has truly changed me.
Thank you, for making me see the person I should’ve been all along.

I love you, please don’t ever leave.

I Believe In Fairytales

I believe in fairytales, true love and magic.
I need it.
I need to believe in it, because sometimes it’s the only thing keeping me healthy.
Alive.

It’s what I know, it’s what I believe.
It’s safe, familiar.
It’s my escape when all hope is gone.
It saves me.
Sometimes, it’s the only thing that even makes sense to me. 
My safe fantasy world.
A place where I can truly be myself.
Home. 

I need to believe that there’s a better world somewhere, filled with magical, wonderful things.
Every night I close my eyes and I go back to that place.
Where I’m loved, welcomed.
Where I’m not the outsider, just for once.

Where everyone has their own kind of magic, whether as a fairy, a mermaid, a vampire, a princess or someone with special powers.
Where unicorns and other mystical creatures run free. 
It’s a world where Narnia, Middle Earth, Wonderland, Utopia, Atlantis, Neverland, the kingdom of Oz, … 
all come together.

A home for everyone.

My Passions

Last night, as I couldn’t sleep -again- I came to the conclusion that I really do miss learning about historical things, studying history.
Just like I miss studying English, heck, I even miss those damn phonetics.
I don’t miss studying to be a teacher though, I just miss the courses I took. The pure theoretical ones.
History has always been my passion, ever since I was a little girl.
I especially loved the old Egyptian cultures and the ancient Greek culture. I love the legends and the stories. I love mythological stories, fables, fairytales and all that stuff.
The ancient Egyptian culture is just so fascinating and mystical. The way they mummified bodies, buried their dead, honored them, the way they build all the temples and graves,…
Just like the Greek their way of living also fascinates me. One with nature. With myths and legends that have an explanation for things in nature that science just can’t explain. Think of the story of Echo and Narcissus for example, which tells us where the echo we hear when we scream in the mountains come from. An explanation for for example thunder or lightning can be found in their stories as well. 
My second passion, was and still is the English language. 
I’ve always wanted to go back to England, ever since I fell in love with the country.
It’s my dream to get back there someday, maybe even live there. Either for a while, either forever.
I’ve been reading English books for years now (even though one might not notice that by reading my texts), and I do read more in  English than in Dutch.
I love the way everything sounds in English, so lovely, so classy, so beautifully.
And I simply adore the British accent, I used to have one myself, but lost it because of the lack of practice.
And now, after my teacher studies failed, I lost both in a way…
Of course, I still read and write in English , that will never change, but it’s different…
I don’t really have much time to read, and when I start reading in a book, I like to finish it in a couple of days, weeks,a month. I can’t now.
And history… since my studies failed, I haven’t looked anything historical up, while otherwise I would be surfing the net for information about whatever fascinates me. Egyptians, Greeks, The Middle Ages, …
I would’ve read books about historical subjects that I like.
And the thing is that I didn’t even notice that I missed it so much, until we went on vacation to Egypt during Autumn break.
We did multiple excursions with a guide, and most of the time, there I was, answering his questions, correcting him, asking him questions or answer whatever questions my fellow travelers had. Everyone said how good I was at it, that I should be a guide myself.
It felt great, because I love showing off my knowledge about Ancient Egypt.
And then I noticed, that was the hole in my heart that I’ve been feeling.
How badly I’ve been missing it.
It’s a part of me , always has been, and the fact that my study failed doesn’t mean that that part just.. went away.
No, it’s still within me, lingering, burning with a slightly dimmed flame.
But still present.
And the same is with English.
I miss it, both, I really do, so so much…
But there’s nothing that I can do about it really.
I can try and keep the flames alive, or I can let them go out.
Although that’s no option for me.
I will fight to keep my passions alive.
I will fight. I will not give up that easily.