It was Friday the 3rd of August.
We had arranged a meeting, and I could feel my heart pound faster and faster with every step I took, as I was walking towards the meeting place.
I was texting a friend meanwhile, since I didn’t know what to do with my nerves. She tried her best to calm me down, saying a date was a good thing, and that It would be fun, that she was sure I looked just fine and all that. It helped, a bit.
I was so busy texting that I didn’t even see him sitting only a few metres away from me, across the street. Sitting on the sidewalk. Looking at me, since he had recognized me, even though it had been a while since he’d last seen me.
I bit my lip -something I always do when I’m kind of nervous or need to gain strength and be brave-, took a deep breath and crossed the street. I was nervous, didn’t know what to say but I just turned my brains and the nerves off, and just went with the first thing that popped in my head.
I made a funny comment about him sitting almost on the ground and he smiled. It had been so long that I last saw him, that I had forgotten how beautiful he actually was. Especially his lovely smile, who just gave me the feeling that whenever he smiled, I just had to smile as well.
Even though, almost two years back, when we first met and went out, he had looked like any other boring neighborhood guy to me. A bit nerdy even. But in my defense, back then, I still went for the ‘pretty boys’, but now that I was older, I had learned that ‘pretty boys’, ‘pretty faces’ most of the time are the worst. Mean, cheating, lying, using and abusing you. And I was done with the long-distance-relationships.
I was suprised to notice that the though of him being a good match for me popped into my head. Could it be?
We decided to take a walk, and I choose the direction. Even though the weather was rather bad, and there was a storm coming, we walked. Laughing, talking, having fun, as I got to learn new things about him. Things I rather loved. Or that suprised me, but in a good way.
It started to rain, but we didn’t really care all that much. I think we got rained out about four times before we were back at the starting point and he proposed to go to his house, since we would be dry there, and he was home alone. His parents were on a vacation with his youngest brother and his younger brother was out.
I couldn’t think of a reason why not -even though I got really nervous about going into his empty house with him, but that’s just a feeling I have with almost every boy- and well… it just wouldn’t made sense anyway to prefer to stay out in the rain instead of going in and be dry and warm. Besides, I was completely soaked, and I hate being soaked.
So we went to his house.
We went in, and started talking. I sat close next to him, and kind of felt the need to hold his hand, to stroke his hand, to have some physical contact.
So I gave him little hints. But -as he is a guy- he didn’t get them.
At one point -it was past midnight at that point- I lay with my head on his belly, as he was stroking my face, ever so gently and careful. It felt as if a breeze was touching my cheek.
Moving up my jaw, to my forehead, tenderly stroking some strokes of hair out of my face, then moving back down my other jaw, sliding a finger over my lips as my eyes were closed. It was heaven.
And I noticed these feelings, these butterflies in my belly. Could it be that I was in love? because that was the only definition that I could connect with the feelings I had. How come I felt this now, but that a year, two years ago, I didn’t feel a thing? Was it true that I had changed somehow? and if so, was it for the better?
Suddenly, out of the blue, he asked me if he could ask me something, I said yes, and then he asked me if he could kiss me. My heart started pounding hard again. My mind was racing. I didn’t know what to answer. So I just answered the first thing that popped into my head. “you can try” I said, with a smile.
He smiled for a second, and the next moment, his lips were tenderly kissing mine. My heart was pounding so hard, I thought it would just jump out of my chest.
And it was in that moment, while he kissed me as tender as ever, that I knew, that I was in love with him.
His hand stroking my cheek, sliding down to my neck. It all just made it even more perfect. And I wanted to stay that way forever.
Time just stopped. The world stopped, as did my thoughts. Except for one. Him.
He was all I could think about, all I could see. Everything I felt. Everything I wanted. Everything I needed.
That was our first kiss.
And now, more than two months later, I still adore him. I can even say I love him more and more every day. And even though it’s only been two months, I already know that he’s the one I want to live together with, have a family, grow old with.
He lives nearby, and still, I die without hearing from him. I can’t live a day without him. A day without seeing him, or hearing from him is just a day not worth living.
I hope we can stay this way forever, because I couldn’t stand losing him. Not now. Not ever.