Tuesday Night

It’s the second time that I’m on one of my boyfriend’s floorball practices.
And even though I’m watching a movie, I can’t help but pause it every time he’s running across the field, being all sexy and sportive.
I ate at his place again, with his family. Which I always really enjoy. Everyone’s nice, his dog absolutely adores me, his mom is so sweet and caring, and they are just a quiet happy family. They don’t fight, or yell at each other. It’s just a quite and peaceful dinner.

At my home, the television is almost always on, since we mostly eat during the news. My brother, sister and I aren’t allowed to talk then, since my parents hate that.
Or we’re having one of our rather famous family fights. Yelling at one another. Either it’s my mom fighting with my brother because he’s done something wrong again, or because he didn’t do something he was asked to. Either it’s my mom fighting with my sister, due to various reasons. Or it’s both of my parents, fighting with me. Which always gets a bit out of hand.

So yes, I like being at my boyfriend’s house, with the peace and quiet, but still the cosiness of a family.
The only thing that I don’t like about his home, is the lack of privacy. His house is right next to his neighbour’s house, it’s connected, and the walls are paper thin.
Also, whenever it’s later than half past ten in the evening, his youngest brother often comes and sleeps in his room on the floor, because he shares a room with the other brother, but when his girlfriend spends the night over, the youngest brother doesn’t sleep there.
So yeah, no privacy or barely.

Which is much better at my house, since whenever we’re on my room (which we almost constantly are), everyone knows not to bother me. Especially when my big light is off.
I’m almost constantly up in my room, because there I’m free to do whatever I please. Because there I’m at ease, peaceful. No one bothers me, or at least not often.

They know it’s my personal space. My place. And that I sometimes need to be on my own, that I enjoy it, appreciate it.

Tomorrow night I’ll try and get back to my boyfriend’s place, have dinner there and make his bag for our weekend away together, since he’s got to work during the day.
I’m hoping that I’m allowed to, although I get my exam results tomorrow evening.
I really, truly hope that they are good, but as always, I don’t dare to hope too much.
Because when I’d do so, I could get very disappointed, hurt.

It could ruin our weekend away before it ‘d even begin.

So , let’s hope for the best.

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Coming Soon

Hello there darlings,

I know it’s been a while since I actually really posted something, but with this post I just wanted to let all of you know that I’m working on a new article, and that it ‘ll be about some chick flicks/romantic comedies.
I’m currently doing one hell of a film marathon so that I could compare them, and then you my opinion about them.
What’s good, what’s bad, what kind of romantic comedy person are you; the really cheesy and romantic one, or the rather funny with a tip of romance one?
That and more will be in the article.
So bear with me for a few more days, and I hope you’ll like the post.

Also, this post will probably appear somewhere next week, since this Friday evening I’ll be gone for the weekend with my love to celebrate our six months together.

All my love to you dears,

Britt 

What Makes Me Love Him

“Everybody needs inspiration
Everybody needs a song
Beautiful melody, when the night’s so long”

As I was listening to the song “when I look at you” by Miley Cyrus, I couldn’t help but think of my love, my wonderful boyfriend.
I often got asked what it is that I love about him, of course, the easiest and most simple answer would be: everything.
But even the word everything wouldn’t be able to cover all of it.
I love the way he makes me feel, lost when looking into those beautiful green-brown eyes.
Every time I look into his eyes, those beautiful beautiful eyes, I see how much he loves me. I can see it, feel it.

Just one look from him can make my knees get all weak. And when that happens, his strong arms are there to catch my fall, holding me close to him.
And when he smiles, god.. that smile. I just feel my heart skip a beat or two -maybe even three!-. I can feel my face turn all red, blushing like an idiot.

I could spend hours just laying next to him, letting my fingers slide over his soft skin, staring into those eyes for as long as I can handle it -eventually, after a few minutes, his eyes and look just drive me so crazy with all these butterflies that I just have to look away-. And when I do look away, he places his soft  hand on my cheek, turning my face toward his, staring deeply into my eyes. That’s when all alarms go off in my head, and that’s when I feel I’m so helplessly in love. With every gentle, tender touch. Every time when he holds me in his arms, tenderly, caressing my hair, my cheek, sliding his finger along my neck, chasing my cheekbone with two fingers, ever so gently.. I’m lost. And I don’t want to be found. I wish to be lost in that moment forever.
I fall in love with him all over again.

Also ever since I fell asleep in his arms, it’s the only way I seem to be able to sleep. In his arms, or with him by my side.

Every touch causes chills on my spine.

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He is so beautiful.. Those mesmerizing eyes, the little cuts in his cheeks when he smiles, the way it makes his eyes sparkle. He’s 26 years old, 6 years older than me, and he’s an adult, but when he smiles, truly smiles, I can see the young boy in him. A young, happy boy.

We can have fun together like people of my age do, we can act like crazy fools, we can hang around each other like a couple of teens that just got together crazy in love, but when I’m crying my heart out because the world and life is hard and rough for me once more, he’ll be there, as my big brother, my best friend, my protector. My love. He’ll wrap his arms around me, dry my tears with either kisses or a soft touch of his hand. Just like he did on the evening that we got together, as I was laying in his lap on the couch. He touched my cheek ever so gently, stroking it. Every touch of him is like a butterfly fluttering it wings softly against my cheek or skin.

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I love his voice, it was one of the first things that I loved about him. I met him when he was still coaching my little brother, he was his floorball coach. As some might already know, it took me about a year and a half to figure out that I was truly in love with him. But his voice… I loved it from the first moment I heard it. So soft, so sensitive, so peaceful, yet so strong.
The kind of voice that I’d love waking up to. The second thing I fell in love with was, as I’ve said before, his eyes.

The third thing was his smile, that lovely smile… Whenever he’s smiling, really smiling, not grinning I can’t help but smiling as well. So we’d be sitting there, two smiling fools in love next to each other.
But the thing that really made me fall in love with him was the way he treated me. In that year and a half that I kept him waiting without barely any hope, he never gave up on me.
He didn’t persist though he just left me alone for a couple of months, until finally I would miss him and start texting him again.

One might say that I was playing with him, although I rather see it as searching.
I wanted to know him well enough before anything would happen, but eventually, I couldn’t hold myself any longer, I had to see him. I remember how nervous I was on our last date before we started dating, it was the 3rd of August, when we got together.
But as soon as I saw him, sitting there, I knew I was in love.
I had changed, I wasn’t the girl that used to chase after all the bad boys and the pretty faces anymore, no , I was changed.
And all of a sudden, as I saw him again, I finally realized just how beautiful he really was, and after almost six months dating , he even got more beautiful by the day.

I love our passion as well, every time we meet, it’s as if we haven’t seen each other for a month. I still jump into his arms, kissing him passionately as his hands slide down my body, holding me in a tight grip. Passion is a big part of our relation, and I find that very important.

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He makes me feel safe, he makes me feel loved, special.
I know we can talk about anything, ANYTHING. And I know that he’ll always be there for me, no matter what. Either to put me on my place, either to console me, cheer me up, or love me.
Always, unconditionally.

When my world is crashing down, when everything goes wrong, he’ll be there to make things right, be the light in my darkness.
And it’s for all these things and so many more that I so deeply love him, with all my heart.

“When my world is falling apart
When there’s no light to break up the dark
That’s when I, I look at you
When the waves are flooding the shore and I
Can’t find my way home anymore
That’s when I, I look at you”

Sporty Love

I’m at my boyfriend’s practice, watching him do his warm-up and he looks so sexy, in his shorts and t-shirt. Being physique, sportive, sexy… his occasional looks at me make me smile and make my knees go weak with love.
With every step he takes, I love him even more. I love seeing him like this, his passion intensively radiating through the room.
When he occasionally glances at me, my heart skips a few beats.
God, how I love him. As I’m holding his sweater on my lap, I might even put it on later, since it’s rather cold in here. And because I love the way it smells, his smell.
It reminds me of love, our love. My love for him.
I swear, every time he walks I feel so proud to call myself his, truly his. His girlfriend, his lover, his partner, just his…
It’s the best thing I was ever allowed to call myself.

He just came for a short two-minute break, drinking some water, and almost forgot to give me a kiss as he left, luckily I reminded him.

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The way his hair bounces up and down as he runs, the way he smiles when he notices me holding his sweater sweetly.

I love him, more and more with everything that he does.

He’s even worth sitting here on a bench for two hours, in a cold sports hall, from 9 p.m. ‘till 11 p.m. . He’s worth all that and much more. Because I want to support him, share his passion and his enthusiasm. I want to be part of every aspect of his life. I want to be there for him, no matter what.

Seeing him play floorball like that even got me considering to do floorball, though I know I don’t have time for that, since I already had to cut back on my synchronized swimming, and since I didn’t had time to join the writing class on Saturdays.

Maybe I’m just getting caught in his enthusiasm, after all , how could one resist such a cheerful spirit?
My lovely boy. My love.

In the end , I put on his sweater, because I was freezing, he said I could keep it for now.
As we were leaving, I told him that he had to know that he wouldn’t get it back soon, he said that he was sure I’d sleep in it tonight. It made me laugh. He knows me so well, better than anyone ever did.

We’re perfect together.

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Fuck You

I want to say ‘thanks’ to almost every ex of mine.
Thank you for being such assholes, lying, cheating and using me.
‘Cause if you wouldn’t have been such bastards, I wouldn’t have changed and would still be chasing the wrong guys, the bad boys with the pretty faces, just like you.
So thank you, for breaking my heart, breaking me into pieces, dragging me down into the darkness.
It’s that way that I was able to finally see the light, and find love, real love.
Unconditional, unselfish, beautiful love.
Because of the way you’ve treated me, I can now fully realise what it feels like to actual be loved, respected, honoured. Adored even maybe.
What you did to me only made me stronger, and that’s why, today, I can stand straight up, lift my chin and be proud of who I am, of what I’m capable of.

You called me weak, selfish, cold, isolated, naïve, stupid, dumb, ugly, … You treated me like a piece of shit, disposable trash.
You ripped my heart out, burned it and then trampled it once more.
Over and over again.
But I’ve changed. I’m stronger. I’m better, unlike you, I actually did grow up.
And I have you to thank for that.

Although some of you still can’t handle me being happy, you come and claim your sorry, that you didn’t mean it that way, but it’s easily said afterwards.
I’m done, with the pain, the lying and cheating, using, abusing.
But most of all, I’m done with people like you.
So, and I’m saying this with all my heart: Fuck you.

Greetings,

The new improved me.

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Plans

Today I left my exam with a rather good feeling. Don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t mean that I think I passed, but I just surprised myself. It wasn’t as horrible to make as the previous time. I recognized more, was able to actually fill in more, instead of just guessing.  Of course, it was still a hard exam.
But I left with a smile, which makes me happy, makes my day good.
Now, as I’m writing this, I’m on the train on my way home. This afternoon I have to study/repeat my last exam, which I’m having tomorrow. It should be a rather good one, since it’s stuff I’ve already seen in high school, well.. a part anyway.
But I’ll still need to study/repeat well.

And then, tomorrow afternoon, my three weeks vacation will begin.
Starting with going over to my boyfriend in the evening, having dinner there and staying with him until it’s time for him to leave for his floorball practice.
I suggested to just go with him, but he told me that I’d be sitting on my own for two hours while he practices, that I’d be lonely. So I agreed not to come.
Although now I’m thinking of going with him, and then I’ll just take a book to read in the meantime. I could ask him. I’m sure he’d actually love me being there. Besides, I want to see him train. He’s so beautiful and sexy in his shorts and shirt, even when he’s all sweaty. My handsome boy.

Wednesday evening I’m planning on confirming our weekend away at Sunparks. Which will be awesome. If his work allows him to take that day off that is. I sure hope so.

Thursday I’m going to my grandmother, like I normally always do on Thursday’s when I go visit her and spend the night there. During my exams I didn’t go though, because I get up around 3a.m. to repeat my exams, and that would be too early for her.
Then this Saturday, my boyfriend and I will go to Brussels in the morning-noon, do some shopping. We have to leave early enough though, because in the evening/ late afternoon I’m going to a ‘The Script” concert, in Brussels again though but still.
Saturday is going to be a very exciting day for me, I can barely wait!

Those are all my plans so far. Of course, I do have a ‘what to do after the exams’-list, which includes doing a biiiiig clean up in my room –and since that never actually happened in the eight years since we live here, I’m going to be busy , that ‘s for sure!-.

Few minutes ago I just texted my best friend in the whole wide world to ask when he’s free to meet up as well. I miss him like hell, and he still needs to meet my boyfriend. I sure hope they will get along.

And after my exams, I will fi-na-lly have some time to read my books. Sooooo many books, lovely books, great books, moving books, but I barely had time to read.
Yes, life will be good. Life will be good.

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