You Make Me Happy

It was morning.
She opened her eyes and looked to her side.
He was so beautiful, laying there all peaceful, quiet.

He looked so at ease.
Comfortable.
She softly rolled over to his side.
Tenderly she stroke his cheek.

He opened one eye just a little.
“Good morning beautiful” she whispered to him as she smiled.
He simply smiled back.
” ‘morning”, he managed to mumble.

She lay there, stroking his face.
Adoring absolutely everything about him.
She still couldn’t believe how it was possible that this gorgeous, sweet, caring and sensitive guy was now hers.

But she sure was glad that he was.
He meant everything to her.
And she know that these feelings that she had for him
wouldn’t go away that easily.

After about ten minutes he started to wake up as well.
He pulled her close into his arms
and started stroking her hair.
“I love you” He softly whispered.

Her face turned all red
even though it wasn’t the first time that she heard him say that.
But it was the combination of it all.
The perfect morning, with the perfect amount of sun-rays falling in and the perfect moment.

Lovingly she lifted her chin to look into his eyes.
Startled from the sight of his beautiful eyes gazing down upon her she kept silent.
When she finally caught her breath she whispered
“I love you even more” as she tenderly kissed him.

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Dementia – A Whole New Life

Today we learned about dementia, a terrible disease that mostly older people suffer from.
I really find it a horrible disease, although our teacher told us that there are good sides about it too.
For example: persons who have been rather moody, mean and anti-social can end up being warm, sweet, caring.
This is possible because often one’s character changes completely.
People that were very peaceful, quiet can change to loud and aggressive.

As most people will know, you lose a part of your memory.
Your life is like a film roll that someone’s rolling back up.
It’s like a drawn line that you’re erasing.
The part that you erased on paper, also gets erased from your memory.
Forever.

Which causes people to forget their husband/wife, since they simply don’t remember ever marrying or even meeting them.
This can be quite painful for the husband/wife of the patient.
They can also see their daughter/son as their wife/husband, since they are so alike with how their mom/dad used to look when they were younger.

Actually, the people suffering from dementia are going back in time.
Erasing the rest.

That’s why often, if they don’t die because of other things like heart failure, cancer, a bad cold, …
They die in fetal position, like a baby in the womb.
They’ve reached the end of the line.
Also, their muscles are so tighten up that they are almost automatically drawn into this position.

Also, they often don’t recognize their reflection in the mirror, since in their head they’re always looking younger, different than they actually do.
They live in the past.

I asked my teacher what you’re supposed to do if suddenly an old woman in the home, suffering from dementia, asks you where her husband (who died 20 years ago) is.
Should you tell her once more that her husband isn’t alive anymore?
That he’s not coming back?
Or do you just go with her fantasy?
Leave her the illusion?

She told me that you best either distract her, or even better: let her talk about her husband.
If you must, you can for example tell her that her husband is out doing groceries, until she forgets again.

But you NEVER,EVER tell her the painful truth again.
Simply because she wouldn’t believe you.
All she knows in that moment is that her husband is alive, she just doesn’t know where he is.
There’s no use in arguing with her, because she doesn’t know better.

Also, they forget things they’ve learned.
Manners for example.
You can easily see a person suffering from dementia standing in the hallway, masturbating.
Or undressing themselves.
They don’t know better.
They don’t know it’s not socially accepted.

They also forget how to eat, or even talk…
They actually become a little child again.

I found it a really fascinating and sad lesson.
Although I really loved and appreciated all the beautiful stories about the good sides as well.
What I find sad however is that in the beginning, the patients almost always realize what’s going on.
They either know that they’re suffering from dementia, or that there’s something terribly wrong.
They don’t feel right.
That’s the hardest part of the disease: the realization in the beginning.

One of the beautiful stories I heard today was about a father who had always been rather grumpy, mean, severe and emotionally distanced.
He never hugged or said that he loved his children.
Then he got dementia.
He completely changed.
And now whenever his children come visit him in the home, they get a warm welcome and he hugs them as if it’s the first time he sees them.

So finally, at last, he can end his life by leaving these last beautiful , treasured moments with his children.
That’s something his children will never forget and treasure.

Because there’s no cure for dementia, 
there is medication which only delays the symptoms.

So no matter how you choose to look at it, dementia is always saying goodbye,
little by little.
All you can do is make the best of a very hard and tough situation, 
and make beautiful memories that you’ll always cherish.

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La Vita è Bella

Today in class, in the afternoon we learned about poor families, and how to deal with them when we have to work there.
We were supposed to have social skills but our teacher was sick.
Even though I was very, very tired, I really enjoyed this special class.
I pretty much like every course that we have, and even if I don’t like the subject , the teachers are great.
They really all are very sweet and caring.
Real nice people.

I really feel like this is where I belong.
I know it’s been only a week but still.
I feel like I’ve made the right choice. Finally.
I just hope my exams and internship will show that as well.
I don’t know if I could handle the disappointment if I’d fail again.

Luckily, my boyfriend is being super supportive and sweet.
He’s such a dear.
Every day when I come home in the evening with a massive headache (I’m in a class with 24 persons. 22 females… Can you imagine the noise?), he’s right there to give me a hug, soothe me and take care of me.
So sweet.
I’m really lucky to have him. 
I fully realize that.
We’re both lucky to have each other.

I’m really looking forward to tomorrow.
The half of the class is going to visit a school for children with a mental handicap.
I’m in that group.
So I get to sleep longer and get to be home about two hours earlier.
In the evening , I’m going over to my boyfriend’s where I’ll have dinner with him and his family, like I do every Tuesday.
It’s kind of a tradition.
And since everyone in Belgium has a day off on the first of May (this Wednesday) I get to go to his practice again and stay with him until late.
Then on Wednesday, we’ll be together again all day.
I’m so looking forward to it!

Hope you’ll all have a lovely day tomorrow as well!

Yes, life sure can be beautiful…

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Thank You

I want to thank you.

For loving me.
For being my reason for living.
Ever since we met, you’ve changed my life. 
I never realized how damn important you would be for me.
How unbelievably much you’d mean to me.
What you’d become.
And what I now hope you will always be.

Ever since you loved me, I changed.
I became stronger, more confident with all the changes my body was and is going through.
You made me feel beautiful again, while I was grieving over my so called lost beauty.
Whenever I’d be sad, down, broken.. You’d simply pick me up and put the pieces back together again.

You’re my guardian angel.
My best friend.
My big brother.
But most of all, my lover.
The person I love the most.
The one I love with all my heart.
The one I’d die for to keep.
The one, my one.

You’re the one I want to have children with someday.
You’re the one I want to marry.
You’re the one I want to grow old with.
You’re the one I see myself spending the rest of my life with. 

Your beauty is overwhelming.
As is all the love you give to me.
Every touch, every kiss, … it causes my heart to skip a beat.
I’m so hopelessly and helplessly in love with you.
I am so lost in you.

I know I tell you everyday that I love you, and how much I love you.
How I adore you.
But I never thanked you for loving me.
For changing my life.
Because you did.
You made me believe in things like love at first sight, true love and fairytales again.
Because we have it all.

You truly are everything I could’ve ever dreamed of.
You are everything and more.
All I could’ve asked for.

Thank you, for being the wonderful, loving, sensitive, funny, caring, … person that you are.
Thank you, for always protecting me from all the bad things in the world.
Thank you also, for still letting me experience some things on my own.
Thank you, for giving me the strength needed to make a decision to change my course in life.
Thank you, for trusting me, even when I know it’s not always that easy, since there are constantly people trying to get between us.

But most of all, thank you, for loving me.
Because your love has truly changed me.
Thank you, for making me see the person I should’ve been all along.

I love you, please don’t ever leave.

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