Sometimes we have doubts, about things we were so sure of once.
What we were going to study, who we would love, who would always be our best friends, what your life would be like…
But the truth is
that you never know for sure.
You never know for sure, unless you have some actual proof.
When you start studying what you always wanted to do, and it works out great.
When you’re in a relationship with the one you’ve always loved, and it’s a true fairytale love.
When your friends are always by your side, no matter how long it has been since you last talked, or since you’ve even seen each other, …
No matter what.
I’m not saying that I’m having doubts about all these things.
I love my boyfriend with all my heart, I really hope I get to spend the rest of my life with him but I’m just finding out that fairytales really doesn’t exist.
That love don’t come easy.
That a real, long lasting relationship is hard work.
Everyday a little bit.
I feel naive.
For ever believing that a relationship would always be as passionate as in the beginning.
For believing that you could keep acting like two teenagers whom are insanely in love.
In a way, I still am.
But in the other way, it’s damn hard work from time to time.
And I’ve reached a point where I’m currently so tired of trying.
I’ll just… let it go for a few days.
I need a break.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t love my boyfriend any less.
I won’t ignore or outrun him.
I just need to focus on myself for some time.
Give myself a break.
Maybe that ‘ll make him realize how much I actually give.
I know this sounds bad, but I don’t see it that way.
I just overdid it.
That’s the thing with me.
I’m a feelings person.
And as I feel every little feeling so intense, it sometimes gets too much for me.
This is one of those moments.
Sometimes all those feelings, all those new experiences get too much.
There’s some stuff going on at home, I just started my new education, I see my boyfriend less than the past two months, he started working again so he’ll be tired again, he’s still hurt from some bruises and injuries, …
I just need a break.
I’ll try to take a break.
I need it.