Life’s Too Short

Life is way too short to not forgive those who matter

Summer Break

She has been looking forward to this moment ever since school had started past September.
It has been a rough year, she had failed her Christmas exams miserably, and some of her college professors had suggested her to quit school.
But she wouldn’t hear about it.
She’d finish her year, even if it would be the last thing she’d do. No matter how hard it would get.
She was a fighter and just wouldn’t simply give up.
She studied hard, day and night. There would be days when she wouldn’t even sleep at all.
It was hard. But she was built tough.
In June, her hard work had been rewarded; she had passed all her exams, with honour.
Of course she’d have to redo her failed Christmas exams, but even that couldn’t ruin her blissful mood.
In a way, she had succeeded.
She fought, and she won the war, even though she had lost a battle.

Her parents were so proud of her that they surprised her with a vacation to Croatia, her favourite summer break vacation destination.
She was so happy.
As soon as she had set foot on Croatian ground, as she had left the ferry, she felt like coming home.
She went to her hotel as soon as possible, and left her luggage.
She changed clothes and put her favourite bikini on.
As she stepped outside, the hot air caressed her face.
The sound of seagulls filled the air.
The smell of the sea tickled her nostrils.
She reached the sea and found a little private beach.
It was a beautiful view, seeing those white rocks getting overflowed by the crystal blue water of the sea. Shimmering, as if it was inviting her to dive in.
This view looked so tempting, so teasingly beautiful that it gave her a rather naughty idea.
She looked around to assure herself that no one was near, or could even see her.
Slowly, she took her bikini top, and then her bikini bottom off.
She dove in the warm, welcoming water.
The water stroke her bare skin, it felt so good. As if she was getting wrapped in a silk blanket.
She closed her eyes as she floated in the water, taking up everything around her.
Yes, this truly was heaven to her.

 

A True Love Story

This is the love story of a US soldier and his girlfriend.
Look at the pictures, and see their story

True Friendship

This dog spend a whole day watching over his dead friend

Keep Looking For The One

A picture to see and enjoy. 

Inspirational Song : Parachute- Forever and always

*_ Parachute is a band with some great songs. This one’s one of my personal favorites.
Just listen to the text and think about it. Let it in. _*

She’s sitting at the table, the hours get later
He was supposed to be here
She’s sure he would have called
She waits a little longer, there’s no one in the driveway
No one’s said they seen him
Why, is something wrong?
She looks back to the window
Suddenly the phone rings
A voice says somethings happened
That she should come right now
Her mind goes to December
She thinks of when he asked her
He bent down on his knees first
And he said

I, I want you forever, forever and always
Through the good and the bad and the ugly
We’ll grow old together
Forever and always

She pulls up to the entrance
She walks right to the front desk
They lead her down a million halls a maze that’s never ending
They talk about what happened but she can barely hear them
She tries to keep a straight face as she walks into the room
She sits by his bedside, holds his hand too tight
They talk about the kids they’re gonna have and the good life
The house on the hillside, where they would stay

Stay, there forever, forever and always
Through the good and the bad and the ugly
We’ll grow old together, and always remember
Whether rich or for poor or for better
We’ll still love each other, forever and always

Then she gets an idea and calls in the nurses
Brings up the chaplain and he says a couple versus
She borrows some rings from the couple next door
Everybody’s laughing as the tears fall on the floor
She looks into his eyes, and she says

I, I want you forever, forever and always
Through the good and the bad and the ugly
We’ll grow old together, and always remember
Whether happy or sad or whatever
We’ll still love each other, forever and always
Forever and always, forever and always

She finishes the vows but his beeps are getting too slow
His voice is almost too low
As he says, I love you forever, forever and always
Please just remember even if I’m not there
I’ll always love you, forever and always

Abundant Love

She was in her early twenties, he was halfway.
Their life ahead of them.
Together they could face the greatest challenges, as long as they’d have each other.
He wanted to offer her home, an offer she gladly accepted.
They’d be spending the rest of their lives together.
Then life got real.
He lost his job, which forced her to quit her studies so she could find a job, if they wanted to keep their home.
Their home was a tiny apartment, barely fit for two.
To them, it was home. It was more than enough.
The bills kept coming, they couldn’t pay them anymore.
One day, as she came home, she found him in the kitchen, his fingers buried in her hair.
His face buried in his hands.
She could see that he’d been sitting there for quite a while.
Carefully, she came closer.
He had been crying.
She asked what was wrong, he just pointed towards the kitchen table, which was filled with papers.
She looked at them.
Bills. The usual bills that they couldn’t pay anymore.
They had lost their electricity already a week ago, but they made it rather cosy in the house by using candles and a warm open fire in the fireplace for warmth.
They had made the best of it, even when they lost their warm water.
“So? We’re used to this bills my love, why are you so sad?”
“Because that’s not all of it..” he softly said, handing her another letter.
They would get evicted from their apartment because they hadn’t payed rent for the past three months.
The letter said that the eviction would happen on the 14th of February, Valentine’s Day.
Today was the 13th.
She sat down.
“This time it’s for real. Game over for us. I wanted to give you such a beautiful life puddin’, now it’s all lost.. where will we sleep? What will we eat? Where will we live?..”
He softly spoke as he buried his face even deeper in his hands.
She didn’t know what to say for a minute.
Then she spoke, confidently.
“We endure love, just like we always did. And we make the best of what we have this last evening. We enjoy what we have as long as we still have it.”
She went to the living room and started a fire.
She put on some soft music and took him by the hand.
And she danced with him.
There they were, poor, without any money left, about to get evicted from the only home they both had ever known, not having a clue what they’d do next.
And they were dancing.
Dancing their troubles away, even just for a minute.
He held her tight, determined to never let go of her again.
She was his one true treasure.
She held him close, her one hand stroking his back while her other was holding his.
She whispered in his ear:
“As long as I’m with you, I know I’ll always be happy.
For as long as I have you, I don’t care where we live. With you, I’d even live in a cardboard box. Your love, this, us , that’s all I need to be happy. Truly happy.”
She could feel his salt tears roll down his cheek as he lovingly kissed her forehead.
He knew she was right.
They could take it, as long as they were together.
They could take it.
They might be poor in money, but rich in love.

Heath Ledger

Everybody’s Got A Dark Side

I believe that everybody’s got a dark side.

I myself for example, may look rather normal, but I really like dark things.

For one, I kind of look up to Jack The Ripper. Not because he murdered a lot of (innocent) people, but because up till now no one knows who he was.
And I don’t think anyone ever will.
Talking about committing the perfect murder.
You have to give the man some kind of respect for that, I know I do.

Secondly: As told before in one of my previous posts, I’m obsessed with vampires. Not the Twilight version (although I have nothing against Twilight, I have the books, seen all the movies in theatre, have the dvd’s, have a movie poster and so on..), I just don’t consider Twilight vampires being actual vampires. They  barely even have the fangs.
The Vampire Diaries is a lot better that way. There’s still the romantic part of vampires, but also the blood-sucking monstrosity. They still tear the skin of the human neck to get what they so desperately crave for: human blood.
This is why this serie is one of my all time favorites.
I like every aspect of vampires. The either blood sucking ‘monsters’, the supernatural beings, the half gods, the immortal being that they are. All their feelings, their pain, their love, their life, …
I’ve been researching for as long as I can remember. And up till this day, they still fascinate me so much. There’s so much left to learn about them.
It’s one of my lifelong dreams to someday meet one.
Yes, you read it correctly, meet one. I believe that vampires truly exist, just not the way they look in the movies. 
I believe that they have adapted themselves to this age,this time. 
But I’ll probably write a post about my opinion and vision on vampires later.

Third: I adore the color black, along with red, it’s my all time favorite color. There’s a post where I explained why I like this color so much before, but since I can’t seem to find it back, I’ll just shortly repeat the most important things. 
For me, black stands for beauty, elegance and style. It’s chique, fancy.
Also, it’s the color of the night. Dark Black. The night is when I feel most at ease. Alive one might say. It’s when I get my best ideas. Think the most, a benefit of being sleepless all the time I think. Long live insomnia. 

Fourth: One of my other dark passions used to be Wicca, white magic. Witchcraft. I used to love it so much, it was a way for me to express myself, it helped me find out who I am and what I’m capable of.
Sadly, life got real and I had to focus on things like school, relationships, friends, domestic things… so I kind of lost touch with Wicca.
I’m determined to pick it back up someday soon though, who knows, since I quit school I got plenty of time left on my hands while I’m looking for a job. I might start again sooner than I thought. More on Wicca later.

Fifth:  Ever since I was a little girl, I always felt different. Sad. Misunderstood. Left out.
For example, when I was very little (younger than ten years) I used to believe that I was actually adopted, and that that was the reason why my mom would be so hard on me from time to time. Because I wasn’t her biological child.
I believe that somewhere out there there was a mother who regretted giving me up once, and who wanted nothing more than having me back in her arms. Who’d be loving, caring.
Not that I had such a bad youth, but it helped when times got rough, which they surely did from time to time.
I guess that even back then, I had a lot of imagination.
Also, ever since I began writing, my texts would be rather sad, dark. Talking about the bad things that had happened to me, deaths in the family and broken hearts. Bad thoughts I had from time to time, when I’d hurt myself.
I felt as if I only knew the dark side of life, as if I’d grown up in it.
It felt familiar, safe.

Sixth: I’m terrified of death. I know a lot of people are, but for me it really is the most horrifying thing in the world. Not knowing if my death will be full of pain, or if I’ll peacefully pass away in my sleep. 
Will my life truly end after I die, my existence? Or will I live on , but just in another world, another dimension?
Not knowing all of this truly frightens me.

Seventh: I absolutely adore Gothic things. The culture, the clothing (especially the corsets and the medieval alike dresses).
I also love the dark, mysterious music of Evanescence and Within Temptation a lot. I can relate to the feelings of pain, loss and feeling useless, powerless very well.
I used to feel that way almost constantly. I’d smile, but it would be nothing more than a mask that I’d be wearing.
Also, I adore horror. They are my most beloved movies and books. I absolutely love scary things, although I can’t stand being in a haunted house, not even on the fair.
I can enjoy movies like saw for example, although those are not my favorite kinds of horror. My favorite horror movies are those involving ghosts, those with an actual story. Mysteries.
The haunting, Haunting at the beacon and many many others.

Eighth: I believe in ghosts. Ghosts, as in the lost souls of people who had died suddenly or violently. Ghosts, as in the lost souls of people who don’t even realize that they have passed.
Ghosts, as in the souls of people that can’t go to the light, since they haven’t fulfilled their final task. 
Those kind of ghosts, I believe in. I’m a believer. I know that there are many people who don’t, or call it nonsense, but still. There is prove, not that much, and not all of it is real, but there is proof.
Just like vampires and witchcraft, it’s something that I’ve been researching for years, I even used to keep files of my research results.
Maybe I still have it laying around here somewhere.

So you see, these are parts of my dark side, or what it is that I consider my dark side to be. 
My dark side doesn’t outweigh my light side, they are in perfect balance, and I like to keep them that way.
I believe that a dark side is needed too. 
I believe that everyone needs to find out what their dark side is, look at it, stare in the bottomless depth of it. And see it staring back at you.
Don’t be afraid, it’s only a part of you that you need to look in the eyes. When you do, and you conquer it, embrace it. You’ll find yourself stronger than before.
Good luck.

 

Big Decision

So last Friday, I quit college. Permanently.
I went to school, did an exit conversation -which is required- and did everything I had to do.
It felt weird, going back to school knowing that It’d be the last time, but I have no regrets. I did what had to be done.

In fact, I’m happy now.
I’m doing research for the nursing training I’ve been talking about before  – Future Views – , but sadly, it starts in October.
So in the meantime, I’m going to look for a job to keep myself busy and earn some money.
Luckily for me, my boyfriend’s working contract is ending this Thursday, so we’ll be able to look for a job together.
Call me weird, but I think it’s kind of romantic.
Sadly, it ‘ll still be over two years before I’ll be able to live on my own.
Which I don’t really like, because the urge to feel this house, ‘home’ is getting stronger and stronger.
I need to be able to stand on my own two feet.
I want to live on my own. Or together with my boyfriend.
I want to start my own life. Make my own decisions. Learn to take care of myself, as a twenty year old should be able to.

So, in the meantime, I’m looking things up for the training. I’m so excited.
But as I’m doing this, and looking for a job I’ll have some great quality time with my lovely, ever-so-wonderful boyfriend.
I can’t wait!

So no, I don’t regret quitting college just yet.
I didn’t like what I was doing and apparently, I was no good at it as well.
The only thing about college that I will miss are my friends. I really had the best classmates ever.
And I’ll miss them like hell, I hope they realize that.
But I’m determined to see them again every now and then. I just hope that they won’t forget me…

It was fun at moments, but in the end, it was nothing for me.
I still have a whole life ahead of me.
I’m young, energetic and have so much left to give.
This was only one chapter in my life, I still have so many unwritten pages ahead of me.

I Just hope my future training will be better, and something that I’m actually capable of doing.

Wish me luck…