To All My Lovelies

Ever since I started this blog a few years back I have written a lot of things, some personal, some rather distant.
Some fiction, other non-fiction.
Every now and then there have been readers/followers that have recognised themselves in some of my texts.
Some answer in a comment and tell me a part of their story, others don’t.
I understand that some of you might think as you are reading “hey, I’ve been through that too! I understand what she means!” but are afraid to comment because of the fact that everyone else can see their comment. It makes you feel vulnerable.

I understand that, because for me it’s also a big step to comment on other people’s posts, reacting with my own story, my own experience.

This is also the reason that ever since my blog was mocked in my hometown and made fun of, I have been resistant to write any more personal things… To be completely honest even now, I’m still scared that someone with bad intentions that knows me in my daily life -even if from a distance- will read all of this and mock me.

But like they said in the movie “A Cinderella Story” – the one with Hilary Duff- “Don’t let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game”.

I still love my blog, I miss my blog.
And in the past days I have written about 4 posts, and it’s a relief.
It feels good to be back.

I am still me, and helping people is still one of my greatest passions.
I know that I am just a group of words, written on a computer screen.
But if for some people I can be of help, a support, a shoulder to cry on ; I would like that.

So if any of you have thoughts, stories or anything else to tell me…
Now you can, without commenting on here.

I have made a special e-mail account where readers/followers/friends from this blog can contact me on.

You can tell me a funny story, share a poem, put your heart out, give suggestions for the blog, ask to publish something of yours … anything is possible.

If I can only help one person, or make just one person smile again.
I would be a very happy girl.

So for all my lovelies: (without the x that is in the name of the blog!)

is the e-mail you can contact me on.
I hope I won’t get mails from people with bad intentions or dirty pictures or that kind of stuff, but if I do: I will delete them immediately.

but for the ones that want to talk:

I’ll talk to you soon my lovelies

for now: all my love

– Britt



Drowning in my tears

I loved you so, still do.
But you keep pushing me away, with every coming day.
Further away from you.
And it hurts, so much…

All I try do to is help you, but you don’t even see it.
You keep breaking my heart with every word you say.
I know that you love me, but the depression is taking over.
Turning your heart into a cold, hard stone.

Once you were the light in my life, but your light is growing weaker with every moment.
The darkness is consuming you.
Pulling you away from me.
Tearing my soul apart.

I have my own problems to figure out, to handle and solve.
I have your problems, tearing me down.
I’m drowning and can’t keep my head up.
And your hand isn’t there to reach for anymore.

What should I do?
Leave you behind, like you did with me?
Or keep fighting to get the boy I love back?
The one I fell in love with?

Because I’m drowning more and more with every second
the water closing in on me.
My lungs filling with water
as you stand by the side and watch me sink to the bottom.

I’m drowning in my tears
and choking on the pain.

What happened?


I Wonder Because It’s All That I Can Do

Why did you have to go
and leave me behind?
What is it that I’ve done wrong?
Wasn’t I good enough?

The love we had was so intense, passionate.
The kind of love most people can only dream of.
We were best friends, brother and sister, lovers.
We were childish as infants, mature as adults.

We were so in love.
What went wrong?
Where did we go wrong?
I still don’t know…

Love went away.
The fire went gone.
The flame going out.
A love divided.

Are you happy now?
Are you already seeing someone new?
Do you regret leaving?
Do you still think about me?

Do you even care?
I wonder.
Because it’s all that I can do now.
Thinking. Wondering. As I desperately wait for your return.



Lovingly she looked into his eyes while caressing his hair. Softly stroking it out of his face.
“I’m still wondering what I did to deserve you”, she softly says as she happily sighs.

He smiles as he looks up at her “I could ask myself the same thing, but the answer is simple. What’s meant to be will be, sooner or later. Even if it sometimes takes a while.”

“But you had to wait for so long, a year and a half give or take.” She said, feeling a little bit guilty. “I still don’t understand why I kept you waiting for so long, it must have hurt you so much…” She looks down, the guilt getting stronger by the second. 

“hey…” he puts his hand on her chin, and turns her face so that she’s facing him. He deeply looks into her eyes. “No need to say sorry. Yes, you made me wait, but I never gave up. I always hoped that one day you’d change your mind. I waited for you, waited ’till the moment that you would be ready. And now you are, and we’re together.” She smiled as a tear rolled down her cheek. He leans in, his lips almost touching hers “and I have never regretted waiting for you, not a second.” His lips tenderly kiss her as his hands slide down her neck.
She holds him close as they kiss, getting lost in the moment. Yes, this truly is perfection.