Dark Clouds Ahead

Right when everything is right again, there comes another blow.
A bad one.

As you might know, I was doing my second internship the past three months.
I finished today.
Yesterday was my end evaluation.
My director (the woman that decides whether or not I graduate) apparently thinks I am no good…
My second internship was at home care/assistance (don’t know what to call it in English).
It’s when you go to people’s homes and take care of them.
This can be in multiple ways: by ironing, cooking, washing, cleaning, wash them, change diapers, help them with other things…
any kind of help really.
For older persons, young people, people with a handicap, persons with psychological problems…

So, my director flunked me. I didn’t pass.
She says it’s because I can’t cook good enough, but when I started this education, I couldn’t cook.
Like: at all.
I could bake an egg, that’s it.
I learned so much the past three months.
I did so many different chores, but she doesn’t even care.
She doesn’t even asks or reacts.

I failed my internship. Which means I don’t get to graduate or even go on with my education…
Now she’s trying to convince her bosses to give me a second chance by letting me continue my education, but when that’s done (in April) I will have to do three more months of internship.
And if I make as much as one mistake… I’m out again.

I don’t know what to do anymore…
I really want to be a caretaker, but not this way..

That woman has been trying to get me out for months, from the moment she saw my face.
Everyone in my class confirms this as well.
She’s been hated for yeeears, by everyone who’s ever followed her education.

My love is trying his best to cheer me up, support me but the waiting and not knowing is killing me…

But it’s all I can do now, wait.

I mailed one of her bosses and told her my story.
Because I find that I have the right to defend myself.
I worked hard for this.
Blood, sweat and tears.

And doesn’t everybody deserves a second chance?