Letter To My Love

I’m scared.

Scared that my internship/education is going to fail.
Scared of what will happen then.
Scared that you will start to love me less and less 
because I cry so much.
Or because I get bored so easily.
I’m scared that you will need me less.
While I need you more and more with everyday.
I’m afraid of the rut where we seem to be finding ourselves in.
I’m afraid that I’ll get tired of us one day as well.
Or that I’ll start irritating  myself over things that really don’t matter.
I’m scared of losing you.

I’m afraid of how I’m currently feeling.
Depressed, alone.
The one moment all I want is to be alone
but then as soon as you leave, I cry.
I am afraid of my own fickleness.
And I’m afraid that I can’t take everything that is currently happening .
Physically, mentally and emotionally

I am scared because I don’t know what is going to happen.
I am afraid that I’ll disappoint everyone.
Especially you.

You’re my most precious possession.
The person I care about the most.
If I lose you, I’m over. 

I hope I may find the strength to get over this bump in my road.
Because that’s all it is.
I just need to dare make the jump.

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