My Ray Of Sunshine

Things are going better between my boyfriend and I.
I’m glad that we are doing better again.
It’s been a rather hard time on me.
Of course, we’re still not completely back to where we used to be, but still, it’s a start.

Our love can handle it.
I know that now, but we won’t have it easy in the future as well.
If all goes well, I’ll start my education April 22nd and he’s thinking about taking adult education, evening school…
I’ll study/work during the day, and when I get off, he’ll start his school… -sigh-

I’m scared for the future.
I think about it a lot, mostly during the night.
I’m so terribly scared to lose him.

And then there he is.
He takes me in his arms as we lay next to each other in my bed.
He holds me close and whispers ‘I love you’ in my ear.
I can only sleep when I’m in his arms, or feel him next to me.
I can only stop thinking about all the bad things and the rough parts whenever we’re together.

He’s my safe zone.
My home base.
Wherever he is, I want to be.
Wherever he is, I know that I’ll be happy there.

I need him in my life, everyday.
Seeing him, being with him is like breathing.
Without it, I simply die.

My younger brother and sister also totally adore him.
When we first met, he was still coaching my little brother.
My brother already looked up to him back then.
So he’s very proud that he and I are now together.
To him, my boyfriend is like the big brother that he never had.

To my sister, he’s the big brother she never had as well.
And a good friend.
To me, he’s my true love.
My life.
The reason I’m alive.

Even my grandmother says that I need to stay with him for the rest of my life.
And I’m planning on doing so.

Tomorrow evening, (Friday) he’ll stay over and sleep with me.
Spend the night.
It’s been so long since we slept together.
Since I got to wake up in his arms in the morning.
My parents are gone until Saturday evening.
And since my brother has his birthday this Saturday, him and I planned to take him to the movies, to see ‘Jack The Giant Slayer’, a movie he had been whining for for the past month.
Of course, we’re not going to tell my brother.
It has to be a surprise what we’re going to do.

I love him.
So much, that just saying that I love him, even thousand times a day just isn’t enough.
So I tell him that I love him so much, that it hurts.
It hurts, because my heart is so filled with love for him that it feels as it’s about to burst.

If this isn’t true love, 
then I don’t know what is.
Because every time I look into those eyes, I feel perfectly happy.
Peaceful.
Crazy in love.
And tell me, what feeling is better than that?

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